Yes, the journey I have been on in the past three years involved me start blogging. The Hope after my first brain surgery, caused more than one incision. The horrible memories of my past were much like Paul’s. Although my deepest sins were not hurting others, I was hurting myself. The second incision was spiritual. God held me again in His arms, asking me where have you been daughter? Like Paul, I was deeply ashamed. Also, just like Paul, since then, I have not stopped giving Him thanks. Every morning, I have always awakened thanking Jesus for a new day with no mistakes in it yet. Every morning when it is still dark, I have thanked Him for those miracles all around and through me.
I cannot say that every morning did not involve tears, because there is an ocean next to my bed that cannot be seen, except by my heart. Not just tears for myself, but so many tears for those I have met and have not met yet. God continues to bring them to me; those who need His Hope.
A few months ago, another tumor was found, this time in my neck, not my brain. This time I went to different offices because the physical area was different. Now I was going to new offices, new tests, and a new hospital. What do you suppose happened?
The same things that happened to me before, occurred again. I had those special encounters God planned ahead for me. Yes, I still believe that is why I am not completely healed from my rare brain disease. One of my friends said to me recently, Joan, this is your ministry. God has planned for you to be where you are through your disease.
I tend to understand that now. I tell people, “I am a walking Miracle.” How many people would be able to say, that they have been through so many surgeries, and be as intact as I am? Yes, His Purpose for me right now is to offer hope to those who are suffering to heal. Their healing is needed from the inside out.
His most recent inspiring moment was at the last hospital I attended for surgery. I had an appointment for a check up for my scar. The office was full of patients. Many were in wheel chairs, had chemo bags attached to them, and half asleep. This hospital is a cancer specialty Center. Since I was in the ENT room for my neck, these are the type of patients who were with me.
Sitting across from me during my wait, was a younger couple in their late thirties or early forties. I could immediately tell which one was the patient. She was bent over holding a tissue to her mouth with some tears dripping on her hand. God spoke to me in a whisper. “Yes, Joan, this is the one for today that I sent your way.” I prayed to let them see Him in me, for I cannot do anything on my own.
I smiled at the husband who had his hand cemented to his wife’s. He was in a great deal of stress. He smiled back at me though, and said hello. I asked him how long they had been waiting, and then the conversation took off. He finally mentioned to me that his wife could not speak. They had removed a softball-sized tumor from her tongue. She had lost most of her tongue and it was cancerous. She was there for her last chemo treatment, and next week was to be the end of her radiation treatments. She was in extreme pain, he said, and the medication would wear off before she was allowed to have more.
I looked at Robin, and asked her, if she liked to read, she nodded her head. I took the book out that God had helped me publish, “Fluttering Poems of Hope”, and handed it to her. She smiled a bit as she wiped the dripping saliva from her mouth. Then I asked her, “If you can still read, can you still write?” She again nodded. Then I smiled a big smile and said, “Then this is what you can do. Even though you cannot speak, you can share your journey and write it like I have.” She almost jumped off the chair. It was like a light bulb was blinding her and she smiled again. Her husband beamed. He gave me his business card and wanted to stay in touch. I told them as I was called to the appointment, “I will be praying for you.”
The next day, sure enough, I received an e-mail from him. Here is part of what Bruce shared, “Your book was with Robin’s Bible this morning for daily reading. I’ve read the forward and your first poem with your cousin, It’s a blessing!” God’s Blessings! His Hope revealed through a hospital office. Amazing!
Oh, my tumor? Yes, it is not cancerous! Actually, I knew that, and told the doctor before surgery what my other doctors and I thought. I told him it was probably connected to my brain disease. His reply was that could not be, he had done thousands of these surgeries and had never experienced this. So, what do you think happened? God’s message was correct, and now the doctors there met about something they have never seen before. Surprisingly they want to see me again, even though they are a center for cancer. What do you suppose God has planned this time? They are waiting for His blessed hope.
Titus 2:13 New International Version (NIV)
13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ,
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